We feel like shouting from the rooftops that we have been picked! Since this is the best news we’ve heard all year, we were especially relieved to end 2010 on a good note.
I got the call on Wednesday, and immediately knew why the caseworker was calling me. I was shaking as she told me the news. Our birth mom had chosen us out of a stack of profiles. I was told she was due at the end of March with a BOY and they wanted us to meet her the next day, since we would be going out of town for Christmas. Whew! It was a whirlwind two days. Then I jumped on Google chat and wrote in capital letters to David, ”CALL ME! :)” He did so right away, and then we made plans to come to the agency on Thursday to meet our birth mom. During that phone call, one of the first things I thought was “no, not now, we are so close to being able to go to Belgium.” Maybe that was a crazy first thought, but this trip felt so many times like it wasn’t going to happen. After finding out the birth was in March, I relaxed and tried my best to listen to every detail she said. Only the caseworker said over and over, “I can’t remember that detail, I don’t have the paperwork with me.” My thought…really, you just called to tell me about a child and you didn’t think it was important to actually give me details! Grrr. But, alas, we did get the basic information, and all is well. I spent the rest of the day very distracted. I just couldn’t believe that the phone call we had been waiting for, finally happened!
And here is David’s side of the story leading up to meeting at the agency:
December 16 – Meeting the person that has changed our life forever
It was Thursday and Lara had to go into work early in order to leave early to make the meeting. Because the meeting had to be set up so quickly, we were e-mailed medical records and a quick info sheet that contained all things about our birth mother and father. I’m just glad that it was a review day in class and I didn’t have to be teaching the whole time at school. Needless to say, we were a bit distracted reading about her hobbies of reading, drawing, playing music, cooking, and ballroom dancing. This is the mother of our child!
I rushed home after school and took Mya (our dog) on a quick walk so she wouldn’t go crazy. Mya has a small history of having destroyed rugs, curtains, and even drywall, but such habits are curbed tremendously with a substantive daily walk. Unfortunately, Lara and I had to drive separately to the meeting because we were coming from different directions. I had been given the task to pick up flowers on the way because I had a little more time. Sounds easy enough. I had bought flowers before, but this was definitely different. I nervously snacked on chocolate covered caramel corn a coworker had given me that day that I had fortunately forgotten to bring in from the car at home. Yes, the snack WAS as good as it sounds. The tag that sealed the container read, “made with real butter.” I got to the store, found the flowers and quickly became indecisive. What do you get the mother of your child?!?!?!?! I thought I was prepared. Unfortunately, this indecision, as many are, was born out of not wanting her to get the wrong impression of us. I didn’t want it too look cheap, but at the same time wouldn’t want flowers to erroneously make us look loaded. The perfect bouquet I found initially was flawed as it contained a Christmas mix CD with the purchase of the flowers. Who sells a CD with flowers? Time finally forced me to make a decision and I went on to meet Lara at Adoption Associates. The flowers, by the way, were a hit. They were a beautiful mix of red and green and white and she loved them, which was the most important part.
Just a few days after that, we were on a plane to Belgium. We weren’t able to make many phone calls before we left, so we had to keep in our secret for a few weeks before our immediate families knew the news. We recorded telling my parents and David’s family and will hopefully be able to upload those here soon.
Almost everyone has asked what happens next, so we thought we would try to give some details. We will be able to meet our birth mom again before the birth. She has also said she would like us at the hospital during the birth; and, the best part…she asked that we take him home with us from the hospital. As far as details during the hospital stay, we are not aware of them yet. The agency lets the birth mom have control over what happens during the hospital time; which we love. As a friend of mine pointed out; we will have the rest of our lives with our son, she will only have those few days.
After we take him home from the hospital, we will have to wait 2-4 weeks for a hearing that will terminate the parental rights of the birthmother and father. Then, after that hearing we will have a couple post-placement visits from our caseworker (just to make sure we are not going crazy) and then the final adoption will take place about 6 months later.
We, of course, are super excited. It is strange that this is the moment we have been waiting for, and now it is here. We have loved watching the reactions of the people around us as we have shared the news. It has been a blessing to finally cry tears of happiness with those closest to us.
Also, it is definitely strange to be in a peak and a valley simultaneously. The news of a child, coupled with the loss of my dad, and a close friend, is making for one emotionally exhausted Lara. (and David) I think that is why the reactions of those around me have meant so much. I am allowing them to feel what I feel incapable of feeling.
I completely stole this from a comment on a friend’s blog, but I couldn’t help but include it here. I’m not sure what book this came from, but I do know this quote is beautiful. “During this season the Lord stands beside me, He weeps. He weeps not for the barren ground of winter. Nor does He mourn the browning branches. He cries because I can't see what He can. And in the fluttering of the breeze, with my heart pressed to His, I can hear Him whisper, ‘spring will come, my love’.” - Angie smith
And soon, our spring will come!