David and Lara's Adventures

Our journey through life, infertility, and adoption

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

November 29, 2010

The 29th at 1:23am, I said goodbye to my dad. At only 28, I feel like I should have had many more years with my dad. Watching him be the grandfather to my children, which he was so excited to be. And more time to develop the friendship we grew to have as I grew into an adult. Six weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with his cancer…6 weeks was all it took to claim his life. We didn’t get the chance to try any treatment before his organs started to fail. In hindsight, he wouldn’t have wanted to try chemo only to get the same result. The cancer was just too advanced. And he would be living day after day in pain. I was able to hold his hand until his final breath, making sure he knew he was loved before he departed from our world.

My dad’s memorial service took place last Saturday. It was a beautiful service, and I know my dad would have smiled seeing all of the people there. He was well loved! Donna (my step-mom) wanted the service to show his life stages. His brothers and sisters talked about him as a brother. His co-worker and best friend talked about him in his work life, and then the 7 kids talked about him as a father. The following is a copy of what I said.

I have been trying for days trying to find a way to properly represent my dad today. He was courageous in the face of sick ness and he was our light during our time of darkness. What keeps standing out about him was his sense of humor. And maybe even more than that, his laugh. For those that may not have had the pleasure of witnessessing such an event, it started with his shoulders. Then it moved to arm shaking, and eventually became a full belly laugh. Sometimes even with his legs shaking. And it would continue for minutes sometimes. I miss that laugh, but it is one I inherited. David knows I'm laughing because he sees my shoulders shaking. I suppose someday I can carry on that belly laugh.

The other trait that keeps on making me smile is the way he always talked in accents. When he talked about work, he used an Indian accent. And when he brought up people from another country, he used an accent appropriate to that country. And everytime, it would make us giggle. Even the day before he passed away, he brought out a Jewish lady impression...making us laugh even in his final hours.

I miss my dad, more and more every day. I can still see him smile when I close my eyes and still feel his bear hugs in the moments I need them most. He left us a most precious gift in Donna, who has been an angel to his children. Not only for the past 6 weeks, but for the many years before that. He has linked together all of his daughters, who I am honored to know. Although a shining light has gone out in our family tree, we will carry on his memory forever.

I’m still in shock, but I am doing okay. We have experienced a lot of “life” in the last month and are definitely ready for better days.