David and Lara's Adventures

Our journey through life, infertility, and adoption

Sunday, November 14, 2010

This changes everything...again.

Our house is now quiet, everyone is napping (we have had lots of house guests), and I am taking a few quiet moments to update our blog. I am reminded tonight of the iPhone commercial that says “this changes everything, again.” In fact, we find ourselves saying this phrase a lot lately. With every change, we keep repeating the same phrase. A month ago, we were told my dad has stage 4 cancer. I definitely thought I would never whisper those words in relation to my family. I know I am going to say goodbye to my parents one day, but I thought it would be much, much farther away. Right now, he is in a lot of pain. It is being managed, but it is taking a lot of heavy medication. This weekend was spent in the hospital. He is home and resting now, but hospice was called in to help with pain management. We are still praying for many, many more days, especially ones full of quality of life.

And now everything is changed…again. This week has left us broken, as we have said goodbye to a close friend of ours. He was only 31 and left behind a wonderful, pregnant, wife and 2 beautiful kids. David sang with Jeremy in a singing group called DeeperStill for years. Over the past years the members of DeeperStill have become our family as we have traveled and performed (well, David performed) together. We have had some healing times with our friends in the last few days, but our hearts are missing a piece. Jeremy is a great friend, great husband, great father, and he will be dearly, dearly missed.

I would love to be able to say that our faith has been unshakeable, but that has not necessarily been the case. This weekend, however, has changed my perspective. During Jeremy’s funeral, we were reminded by our preacher that God does not cause these things to happen. In fact, He is hurting right there with us. And to think that the God of the universe cares enough to cry with me; it starts to heal to darker parts of my heart.

With our past year being full of sad news, we are left wondering how many times our hearts can be broken. Each time they are being put back together they are leaving behind someone that resembled the first, but is drastically changed.

We are looking forward to better days ahead. And we are reminded to appreciate every moment and every breath. During the more difficult times in life, we seem to make our motto, “just one day at a time.” I wonder how we might live differently if we made that our motto every day. Instead of working for the weekend, or for the next vacation. But, instead, REALLY living in each moment. We are still waiting for good news regarding a baby, and we are praying it will happen soon. We are very ready for some good news. For now, though, we will take it one day at a time.